Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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