it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize