the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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