I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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