there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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