what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize