Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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