Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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