I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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