I just threw up on my dentist
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize