I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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