We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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