She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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