I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize