we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's paint friendship bongs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize