i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize