in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize