Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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