Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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