I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize