I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize