i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize