Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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