I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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