Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize