Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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