YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize