Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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