and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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