worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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