I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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