He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Found your dick twin last night
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She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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