You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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