Dual....:-)
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
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I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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