I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize