Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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