Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize