So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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