you didnt know i had herpes?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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