you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize