The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize