we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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