Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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