these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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