and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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