yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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