hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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