after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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