he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize