Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize