My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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